Last week felt like it rushed by faster than a speeding train…and it got me thinking about how I don’t like that feeling at all! I know I am not alone in this feeling, and I am determined to change it. So what to do? How do we slow down and immerse our selves in the present moment.
I have a terrible wonderful habit of list-making. I say “terrible wonderful” because it it certainly how I am as productive as I am, but it also contributes to my feeling rushed. As I ready myself in the morning, I am already making lists, checking things off, re-arranging in my head all that needs to be done before I leave the house. In one way, this is good – I rarely forget things, but sometimes I will realize I didn’t even taste my breakfast!
So I am working on practicing awareness. I won’t be able to give up my list-making…no, not yet. I am working on using my phone differently to help me keep track of the various calendar items and reminders so I can get them out of my mind. But primarily I am trying to keep an awareness throughout my day, like a moving meditation of heightened awareness and gratitude. This way I am still getting things done that need to be done, and I get to enjoy the process. Isn’t that what life is all about?!
I have to admit, it is helpful having a little one by my side most of the time. He requires most of my attention, and when I am focused on something else for too long he lets me know! The hardest part for me is to stop and enjoy the moments where nothing may be going on. Ronan’s asleep, laundry is going, dishes are washed, office billing up-to-date, Young Living emails out, committee work at a pause…what do I do with myself? Should I knit, read, write, clean, organize, go through my closet? (You can see what I mean about the lists, yes?) But, stop! Really, stop. I am learning it is also okay to just pause. Sit. Take a moment to breathe. This is harder for me than doing things with awareness. But necessary.
So, am I good at this? No way. But it’s a practice. I try to remember. I don’t beat myself up if I forget and slip into old habits. I am working on it…and every day will get better. Slowing down. Trying to notice. Appreciating what’s all around me, dirty or clean, done or undone. This life is so brief, I don’t want it to fly by before I taste my breakfast.