It was a little over a year ago when I asked the universe to help me reconnect with itself…you know, “God.” In my adult life I have neglected saying that word. Feeling it was too polarizing. Mystical. Church-like. Despite my existence as a human being, and even having a minor in World Religion, I felt I wasn’t qualified to use the term. I danced around it with “universe,” “light,” “source energy,” etc, and this avoidance, perhaps, was the root of my problem. I knew I had felt God before. When I was a child, that connected came easily. But it was missing in my life one year ago. I was feeling disconnected, adrift, unsure, and a little bit lost.
Those of you who know me have probably heard me share about Oola. Oola is a word for a life that is balanced and growing in seven key areas. One of these, is faith. As I continued to revisit my OolaWheel and work through the Oola process…faith kept showing up as a big fat flat tire. I knew I needed to go there. I felt in my bones that I missed this connection.
So, I asked.
And I have learned:
God answers prayers.
Those answers are sometimes messy and difficult.
It always comes back to love. And you can too.
I ended up in the hospital when my water broke 3 and a half months too soon. Oh, yeah…I was pregnant. And while this time was extremely difficult for all involved, I knew it was my answer. I felt closer to God than I had in years. I asked God, “Why did it have to be this? Why so scary? Why so hard.” And I learned that if it were up to us, we would always choose the road more comfortable. We don’t grow if things are too easy.
It was my turn to practice gratitude. To practice love. To practice trust. I could give in to fear, and frustration, and list reasons why this wasn’t fair. Or, I could be with God. I could choose love.
Two weeks later, my son Gabriel came into this world a miracle. Three months too soon, but as healthy as could be. He is pure love. Always was. He is my constant reminder that God is always there. When I don’t feel the support of the universe, it’s because I’ve taken myself away from receiving the love.
So, I stop. And ask. And choose again.